I Knew That...

I wanted to take a moment and respond to the service that we had yesterday. I realize that I have not blogged about anything for about a month. I am sorry for that. The reason is that I have been spending a lot of my time and creative energy working on something else. I offer this not in the way of an excuse, but an explanation, and maybe a lesson. We all have much to offer but it is not infinite. We need to take time to re-center and recharge (even Jesus did this by the way). We also need to accept that it takes time and energy to give ourselves in worthwhile ways.

Having said that, I do want to take time out of my present project and celebrate something.

Yesterday, I mentioned a couple of films in my sermon. I am always a little reluctant about this. For even though many people resonate, others find it confusing and have told me as much. Because of this, I try to be fair in my illustrations. However, yesterday was something of an exception. I made two fairly lengthy references to parables in cinema. The first was a recent film called, "In Time." The second was a somewhat older movie called, "Serenity." Both are science fiction stories.

Following the service, a number of people shared with me that they had seen "Serenity," and/or the short television production that the film was based on. It was clear to me that these people really connected with that story-line and, consequently, with the sermon. It is always nice to get an affirmation like that; however, in this case, it was especially cool. It was cool not only because these people appreciated something that I connected with--but because, I think, my sermon helped to affirm something in them that they may not have yet understood.

You see, I think that the narrative (the characters, plot, setting, etc) of "Serenity" had already blessed them in some way. But because of the nature of our world (television and movies are just entertainment), they may not have been able to embrace it as fully as they might. By hearing a representative of the Gospel speak favorable about the film, allowed them to accept what they had sensed all along. Namely, that there is a lot to that story.

What I am talking about hear is generally called intuition. Intuition is something that we all have, but many of us have lost our capacity to access it--or trust it, really.

I do not need to go on about this, because if you are reading this, then you already have an idea of what I am saying here. Moreover, the nature of intuition is that it is actually undermined by too much analysis. So I will leave it at that.

In any case, if this blog rings true, then good luck on your journey. I believe that you have tapped into something that is a great gift for you, and it will continue to be exceedingly important in the time ahead.

Digital Protesting

Have you noticed that you cannot access some sites today? It is not your browser or ISP. The shutdown is a statement on behalf of some of these companies. They are resisting the SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and the PIPA (Protest IP ACT). Now why in the world would successful and even very large Internet-based companies be against something called the "Stop Online Privacy Act?"

Could it be the the name of the bill does not really reveal what the legislation is actually about? Some time ago, I preached a sermon in which I said that when you begin to hear that they want to "regulate" the Internet, it might be a good time to start praying.

The fundamental issue behind these bills represents a concerted effort to control the world in which we live. Of course, there is pirating taking place on the Internet. And, of course, there are some people who are going to benefit from a lack of regulation. However, the real issue is not piracy. It is control. And who exactly gets to regulate all this? Is it a specific nation-state or will there be some kind of world-internet-police agency that will be in charge of keeping and eye on things? "

The Internet has historically been a fairly open-forum of information and communication. It is trans-national, trans-cultural, and trans-economic. Regulatory interests are going to change this. The only question is how will it change?

Are we awake yet? Is this once again the same old choice? Can it be that it all really comes down to love or fear?

The short and long of it

The title should might read, "the big and small of it." Because what I am actually referring to here are decisions. Decisions are more often defined by size rather than distance but, at the same time, they also have ramifications that move forward in time and space. We might even say that the decisions we make have a history or, perhaps better, that they create a journey that can be short or long lived.

I have always been skeptical of choice. I am speaking here not so much about the individual choices that we make but rather the grandiose claims about choice itself. Some say that choice is the end all of human experience--the most important characteristic of being human. I have historically disagreed rather strongly.

Part of this is simply my education. My formal training both philosophical and theological has been decidedly anti-modern. Modern philosophy is generally traced back to Renee Descartes who gave us the famous (or infamous from where I come from) phrase, "I think therefore I am."

It is said that Descartes, perhaps unknowingly, literally moved the center locus of reality from the external to the internal. Specifically, as the father of what is commonly called "Critical Philosophy," Descartes saw an enormous problem with knowledge. In his quest for what he called "clear and distinct" knowledge, Descartes found that he could really know nothing for sure--except that he was thinking about it. The discovery caught on and, over time, we inherited a world that is completely uncertain. We now come to know and understand this world not be accepting it as it appears to us but by abstracting it--by pulling it in to our minds.

The key point here is that we now naturally do this. If we live in the West, Critical philosophy or approaching the world through abstraction is what we learn. It is the prevailing educational model and essentially the air that we breathe. So, in terms of the current discussion, there is no choice as to whether or not we think this way.

Now imagine being told that this basic tenet is actually wrong--that Descartes apparent revelation was, in fact, a misstep. That the modern world's embrace of the critical method did reveal knowledge but instead distanced us from it--perhaps so far that we can no longer even see it--even though it is right there in front of us. Imagine that and you have a basic picture of my formal education. (Makes me think of Paul Simon, "It's a wonder I can think at all.")

Despite whatever suffering I may have endured in all of this, I cannot deny that I have been blessed as well. For I have been able to see things that others do not. For example, I can see how the modern world's unrelenting emphasis upon choice has gone a long way to casting the world as a vast marketplace in which truth is largely relative. We simply traverse the universe picking and choosing our way... what to do, what to believe--what to buy--as though we might be merely working our way through a supermarket.

So anyway--choice. In a world that is so enamored with the wonder and power of the human mind, I have always had this nagging resistance to it. Right--because Descartes is the villain? So choice, is just a trap. It is the illusion that we gods of some kind and that our thought processes are more important, or even more real than the external world...

That's the formal reason for my skepticism about choice, but there is another, probably more relevant reason. I am also not especially bullish on commitment. I am much better at thinking about options than I am about living with choices. This is a confession BTW. The entire entry here might be. For despite my suspicion of thought--the fact is, it might be one of the few things that I actually do well. So if you're still following, the confession is hypocrisy or maybe just futility.

So what you have here is the anti-thinker thinking... And today I am thinking about the lasting impact of the choices that we make.

And what I am thinking about specifically is which are the more important. Is it those decisions that we imagine to be the big ones? You know, the handful that we can identify in a lifetime that appear to make those substantial differences in our journeys? Or, is it the smaller ones that we make every day? I suppose these would be likened to the tiniest edges of the fractal?

I am curious about this because I am curious about change. I mentioned in my last blog that I have been reading Carlos Castenada and listening to the philosophical musings of Don Juan. He seems to believe that change is not only possible but necessary--at least for those of us who care enough to live something other than a boring life. A Christian equivalent here might be Jesus' statement to Nicodemus that in order to see the Kingdom, "ye must be born again." Though I am not sure it is exactly the same thing.

There are certainly worse things than a boring life. However, Jesus seems to invite us to something remarkable. So the point, or rather the urgency, here is that we might well miss the kingdom if we do not change or become reborn in some way.

Of course, the modern world as well as many practicing Christians are quite sure that they see just fine. But I am curious today how choice fits into all of this? Does there come a point at which it is simply too late? That we are so far down the wrong road that we simply no longer have the capacity to reconsider some of the choices that we have made along the way?

Don Juan suggests that the issue (or the problem) is not simply the choices themselves. It is rather the attitude or posture with which we make them. He notes that most people live their life as though they are going to live forever. And because of this, there is a certain sloppiness (my word) about the way that we act. He suggests to Carlos Castenada that we should act as though our next action might well be our last. His suggestion is that we imagine ourselves the hunter but we are more rightly the prey.

"..if you are going to die there is no time for timidity, simply because timidity makes you cling to something that exists only in your thoughts. It soothes you while everything is at a lull, but then the awesome, mysterious world will open its mouth for you, as it will open for every one of us, and then you will realize that your sure ways were not sure at all..."

"It is not natural to live with the constant idea of our death, don Juan." [Castendad protests]

"Our death is waiting and this very act we're performing now may well be our last battle on earth," he replied in a solemn voice. "I call it a battle because it is a struggle. Most people move from act to act without any struggle or thought..." (p.85)

As I mentioned in my prior blog. I am not sure what to make of don Juan's philosophy but I appreciate his candor and his intentionality. As a man who has made it a point of avoiding both choices and the responsibility that comes with them, I find myself feeling a bit like Carlos Castenada--exposed and vulnerable.

Are all the surprises over?

I have recently been reading Journey to Ixtlan by Carlo Castenada. I was supposed to read it 28 years ago when I was taking a college course entitled, "Native Americans" but I don't think I did. Or if I did, I am sure I didn't give much effort to understanding it.

There is actually a great story behind this too. When I started college, I had no idea what I wanted to study. After my freshman year, I decided to major in Environmental Studies (which was a pretty obscure major back then). I liked the subject matter and figured that I might become a park ranger or something but I hated going to the science labs.

The labs were three hours each and always in the afternoon which played havoc on my primary interest...athletics. I had also been taking some history and religion courses as part of the general education requirements. These were more interesting to me than even science and they had no labs so by the second semester of my sophomore year, I had declared a double-major in History and Religion.

I imagined the two fields to be complimentary. And they were to a degree. However, my primary historical interest was American History and the American History professor at the college was the wayward son of a Lutheran pastor. He not only despised Christianity, he fully imagined himself as some kind of Indian sorcerer. I trust that he got the idea from the the real or fictitious character of Don Juan--the desert mystic upon which Castenada's writings are centered.

So anyway, that was my college education. Half the time, I spent learning Christianity's relevance to the world and, half the time, I spent listening to my American History professor insist that it was the bane of human existence--though I think this was more my professor's baggage than a reflection of Don Juan's own sentiments..

There are many quotable statements in Journey to Ixtlan. In fact, I might have simply listed the chapter titles (Erasing Personal History, Losing Self-Importance are two of the first three!). Here is one of the statements from the book that has got me thinking:

On Erasing Personal History:

"You see," he went on, "we only have two alternatives; we either take everything for sure and real, or we don't. If we follow the first, we end up bored to death with ourselves and the world. If we follow the second and erase personal history, we create a fog around us, a very exciting and mysterious state in which nobody knows where the rabbit will pop out, not even ourselves." (p. 17)

I think that a great challenge in our time is freshness. Is it because we have a hard time imaging that something could really be new? Or is it simply that nothing really is? I like Don Juan's comment because I do not know how to feel about it. But I cannot argue with his logic. If we do not take everything as for sure and real, it certainly makes the the world more interesting--though it also makes it a bit less stable as well.

This will be an interesting year. There are simply too many omens and uncertainties to ignore them all. Here's wishing you a very NOT BORING New Year!

Christmas in the Camp

[Spoiler alert: Christmas falls on a Sunday this year. Therefore some of the following is likely to be repeated on Christmas Day 2011. If you prefer your sermons uber fresh, you might want to wait until Monday to read this. It was not my intent to write a sermon but sometimes it just goes with the territory...]

In the film, "Schindler's List," the main character finds himself drug into a world of suffering. He doesn't go looking for the suffering. In fact, he initially finds himself financially blessed by the Nazi war effort and the subsequent slave labor created by the Jewish Ghetto.

As the story turn even darker, and Amon Goeth arrives to oversee the construction of a concentration camp, Oskar probably begins to see the inhumanity and evil that is connected to his own good fortune. Nevertheless, he intends to bifurcate his own story from that of the Jews who are working in his factory. The rationale is simple. Schindler is a German and a businessman. Although what is happening around him is sad, it doesn't concern him personally... Or so he tries to believe.

However, the worse things get, the more Oskar finds that the world is shared--that those who benefit from the Nazi regime are, in fact, connected to those who are suffering under it. Though he might want to believe that his story is distinct and separate from the men and women working in his factory, his experience increasingly demonstrates otherwise. Perhaps despite himself, Oskar Schindler comes to realize that he sincerely cares about these people. Their suffering is his suffering.

This identification with the other is, I believe, at the heart of the Christmas message. It is God's identification with us--and especially with our plight--that makes the Christian message unique. Yet, it is also what makes it universal. The Gospel story emerges from a specific tradition but the message that it declares belongs to all of Creation. And he shall be called Immanuel--God with us...

I realize that Occupy Wall Street is something of a political issue for some, and an enigma to others. I do not know all the ins and outs of the movement but there are some aspects that I certainly respect. I respect people standing up for what they believe--even when they may not be able to exactly articulate what that is. I respect people who work peacefully for change in the world and refuse to be defined by others simply because they have more power and influence. And I respect that the OWS people have given all of us something to think about by using the simple ratio 99-1.

To suggest that there might be a ratio to describe injustice is a provocative claim. To point out the considerable distance between the many and the few in this regard is, I think, a revelation in our time. The way that I have been describing it of late, is to invite us to think of a refugee camp. To imagine that there is a vast enclosed space--probably not unlike a prison, except that this prison is so enormous and so full of stuff that we never actually see the fences.

What the OWS folks have done by lifting up that ratio of 99-1 is to point out the fences. They dare us to consider that we too are probably a part of the poor and the disenfranchised. This is a startling consideration. For we might say that in the world there is something like a refugee camp. And we might acknowledge that a great many of the world's people are living in it. But can we see ourselves living in it right now? A strange, and perhaps unwelcome, suggestion. Yet, if the world really is divided into the 99 and the 1 (or the 999 million and the one), then things are not as they seem--and we are not who we imagine ourselves to be. In fact, if this is true, then we are the very people that we very often look down up-on and disregard...

That's the news. But this news is not all bad. And for a number of reasons.

First, the Good News here is that Jesus is born in Bethlehem. So it appears that God identifies with (or maybe even favors) the refugees. But that's not all, if we come to understand ourselves as refugees, things look different. Suddenly we begin to see that perhaps everyone we know lives in the same camp with us. And, therefore, we have a connection with others that we may have never really seen before.

Like Oskar, we might have initially assumed that we would be better off identifying with the people who are running things . But at some point, we begin to catch glimpses. We see what the system is doing to people--not only to others but to ourselves as well. We come to realize that we too are being run.

It is an important day when we see how much we have in common with the person getting our coffee. It is a really important day when we come to see how much we have in common with the person picking the beans for that coffee. And it is a painfully important day when we come to see how much we have in common with people who have suffered and died to place that same coffee on our table.

Initially, it might be frightful--the revelation. But then it becomes a blessing. Because we can then see that we have many more friends and a much larger family than we once understood. We begin to understand why solidarity matters and why justice is a worthwhile goal. Peace, too, becomes a more tangible and needful desire. The world gets clear and we begin to look for and work for something better--something very much like the Kingdom that Jesus proclaims...

Of poppies and pop culture

Yesterday, our children's choir led our worship at Saint Francis. And I do mean led. The message that they brought was the message that many of us--myself included--needed specifically to hear. They sang a piece entitled, "Don't Miss the Manger." While the song might have drifted to the kind of sentimentality that we tend to associate with children and Christmas, the truth is that it turned out to be a powerful and prophetic lesson, especially to the terminally jaded in our midst.

Religion is dangerous stuff. It can so easily be reduced and manipulated. Marx called it "the opiate of the masses." He is generally criticized for the statement but that is just because what he says is so potentially true.

A friend recently forwarded me an article entitled, Americans: Undecided About God? from the New York Times. He notes how little God is mentioned in our society. He suggests that people should be more willing to talk about God in public but then quickly acknowledges the challenge given the simplistic and obnoxious expressions of spirituality currently representing the public sphere. The article is essentially an appeal for a better standard when it comes to religion. The writer suggests that many of us might want to discuss God more openly but we just cannot bring ourselves to do so when religion in our time appears to be so embarrassing.

I understand his assessment though I disagree with the solutions that he offers. It is tough though. It is hard to argue with anyone who sees the cheesy and sleazy that so often accompanies the world of religion. This is not really new though. Those who would aspire to a spiritual journey have always had to put in the extra time and work around the quicksand.

It's always easy to criticize religion. This is because, like politics, loud expressions of religion always give folk so much to work with. But have you noticed the secular lately? Not really looking much better over there. Turn on television and take a look at that stuff. There is no monopoly when it comes to the dumbing-down of America...

Frankly, I feel for anyone out there floundering in this sea of drivel. Believers and atheists alike have very little to choose from. It takes some work to find the higher ground. And, of course, for those of us who would follow Jesus, higher ground is something of an oxymoron anyway.

So what does it look like? Authentic life? True spirituality? How do we listen for a God who might speak somewhat softer than the experts would have us believe? And who might also be a bit more sophisticated than the intellectuals are counting on?

Jesus admonishes his would-be followers to be "wise as serpents; harmless as doves." So it probably takes some effort to rise above the noise out there. But I believe that it is worth it. It's "the good fight" if you will--to see beyond the cynical as well as the simple.

I was moved by our kids yesterday. They reminded me that I need to curb my condescension. That I am not as smart as I think I am, nor am I as safe. When the silliness drives us half-mad, it is easy to become self-righteous. But cynicism is a trap that is no better than ignorance.

I think that the truth is, we all need help. Let's not miss the manger.

Still Cynical? Here's Natalie Merchant offering a somewhat dated but always spot-on commentary on the human condition Candy Everybody Wants

50 Questions To Free Your Mind

Some healthy food for the thought. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the right answer:

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
32. If not now, then when?
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
[I found this at http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/ though I am not sure this was the original source.]