When It's Your Turn

I recently had a conversation with a friend who has been going through a difficult stretch. Actually, he has been going through about a sixteen month stretch. And although it has been his own cross to bear, he has been willing to share some of the what this has been like with me. This is a precarious thing. On the one hand, I am pleased to be a sounding board for my friend. But on the other hand, sixteen months is a long time. It is difficult to see someone you care about in the midst of a fiery trial.

Listening to the trials and tribulations of someone else is very different than living them yourself. During our last conversation, this became more clear than ever. I could tell that my friend had been keeping on for a long time. And to be honest, he really wasn't showing any signs of defeat but I am sure that the people around him are getting a little weary. Not people like me, who simply get to share in the journey from a distance but the people closest to him, especially his family.

There are some roads in this life that we have to walk alone. I am not sure whether or not everyone has to do this at one point or another but I do know that at least some of us do. Perhaps sometimes this is just part and parcel to life in the world. We find ourselves in a transitional period and there just isn't anyone else around to help us carry the load. But sometimes it is more than this. Sometimes we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a spiritual journey in which we are forced to battle the elements and the demons all by ourselves.

Native American spirituality refers to this as a Vision Quest. It is considered a critical time in which one encounters the spirit world and comes to know his or her life path. In Christian spirituality, this is often called a trial or test. It is a sojourn in the spiritual wilderness. It is a time in which the believer learns to trust God in a much more pronounced way. Facing the challenges with nothing more than faith forges our hearts and makes us ready for whatever it is that God has in store for our lives.

I had my primary wilderness experience many years ago. It was not something that I was looking for and it was not enjoyable. But now, so many years later, I see this difficult period of my life as an indispensable gift.

Of course, right? Journeys always make sense AFTER they're over and we are safely on the other side. During that most recent conversation with my friend, I kept thinking about my own experience. The more he told me, the more sure I was sure that he was on a Vision Quest. And no matter how much I might have liked to give him a map or offer him a shortcut, I knew that it was not for me to do.

You see, it is his time. It is his turn. I can be there as a friend and as a fellow journeyman but whatever God is doing in this man's life and whatever God might have planned--these things are between God and my friend. In other words, all evidence to the contrary, this is holy space. God is forging this man's future.