Difficult Personalities

A friend of mine has a pet term that he uses to describe a wearying force in the world. He likes to say, "It is not right to let the mission of the Church be driven by the difficult personalities in our midst." Anyone who has spent much time working or serving in an organization of humans understands what my friend is talking about. Although there may not be an official definition of a difficult personality, most of us could probably point to one or two.

In the workplace, difficult personalities have time-lives. They last until they destroy themselves or until cooler minds prevail. If people tear-up more than they produce or complicate more than they contribute, sooner or later the market speaks to the matter. Either the voice of the boss or the sheer pain of the environment demands intervention on behalf of the organization itself. In the workplace, difficult people are being compensated for some good or service that they provide. So if all else fails, removing the paycheck generally takes care of the problem.

Volunteer organizations such as local churches operate somewhat differently. Not only is it hard to fire volunteers, the example of Jesus sort of demands that we treat even difficult personalities with a higher degree of compassion and respect. But herein lies a dangerous challenge. Because we recognize the volunteer nature of the Church and because we understand that Jesus calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, difficult personalities enjoy positions among us that would be completely unacceptable elsewhere. Bullies, whiners and otherwise very destructive people can be allowed to run roughshod over the body of Christ.

Of course, this is not God's will. But addressing the issue can still be a considerable challenge. The likely candidate to deal with the problem is the pastor--the same pastor who has been called to care for all members of the church, including the difficult personalities. So by addressing the abuse, the pastor is caring for the body but at the same time, he/she is risking the relationship and trust of some of the members. So what is the church to do? It is certainly wrong to allow the difficult personalities to stifle the mission and ministry of the Church but how can we risk speaking the truth to one another--even when it is in love?

I believe that the answer is in the worship life of the Church. As the community gathers for worship, it hears the Gospel. Cool minds and difficult personalities alike are confronted with the truth that we are all sinners saved by the grace of Christ. In this way, the truth about our behavior comes to us not by way of the pastor or some other leader within the Church but through the Gospel itself and the communal activity of the body. Bullying, whining and otherwise mean-spirited activity is unacceptable behavior for people who claim to be followers of Jesus.

In this way, the Church is not so different from a workplace--except to the extent that our work is carried out largely by volunteers. The purpose of the organization (in this case, to make and nurture disciples of Christ) becomes the accountability that might otherwise be lacking. Those who would undermine the Church's central task to make and equip disciples are therefore called to account not merely by the voice of the pastor but by the critical vision of the Church--because the work of the organization is just too important to allow mean people to abuse their position within the body.

Generally speaking this applies not only to the workplace and the Church but to much of our lives. There are always going to be difficult personalities around us. However, it is critically important to our own joy that we do not let these voices determine the mission and ministry of our lives. As our mothers have long ago taught us--life is just too short for that.