The Weight of Want

We are now beginning to see the scale of the oil spill in the gulf. It will probably turn out to be worse than we are hearing today. But even at this point, it is pretty awful. As I think about the environmental destruction and general horror of the whole thing, I do not feel righteous or judgmental at all. Whatever happened out there, I figure that I did it. Or, we did it anyway. There's no escaping the guilt here--the greed maybe but not the guilt.

Of course, it is ridiculous and wrong that BP has made hundreds of billions in profit already this year. And we probably ought to judge them for that at some level. But the fact is they've made all that money mostly by just giving us what we want. And now the ocean and countless creatures have suffered a pretty horrible injustice because of that same degree of want. Sure, the spill will cost us something. It will cost the people who make a living in and around the coast. It will affect the stock market and probably the cost of gasoline at some point. But to suggest that we are going to suffer for what BP has done is a little like Peter blaming Judas for betraying Jesus. Nah, this is something that I've done. And it is awful.

The awful part is not that we've spilled oil in the gulf. It is the way that we spilled it. This wasn't just a tragic accident. It was the byproduct of runaway self-interest and sin. All we cared about was getting what we want. And we would have gone on caring about nothing else had we not been inconvenienced by this embarrassing little accident in the gulf.

But now that we are being made to look and see what has become of us, we have a window of opportunity. We have an opportunity to tell the truth and consider the weight of our want. The first bit of truth telling is admitting that this is not merely an accident. It is a disaster, a real disaster, and it has come upon us by our own hand. The second bit is pretty standard moral stuff. Namely, it is a matter of what now? What will we do? Will we figure out a better way to get what we want--maybe take a real look at wind power or wave power or solar power? Will we rethink the whole want thing--or at least want at the level that we have been practicing it of late?

I recently began reading a book entitled, "Being Consumed: Economics and Christian Desire." It was recommended to me by a friend. He's an intellectual so the book is pretty heady. And it's not a perfect book. Nevertheless, the author is struggling with some pretty important questions. There are people out there that are struggling with these things. Just like people once struggled with things like slavery and child labor and women's suffrage, it is time that we start sincerely struggling with things like consumption, globalization and the environment. These aren't political issues. These are moral issues.

I feel responsible for what has happened in the gulf. I am not sure how I've done it and I am not at all sure how to make it right but I think I'm ready to learn. I want to start wanting something else.