Awkward and Imprecise

[This is a reprint from a recent newsletter]

I recently filled out a self-evaluation as part of my work here as the pastor of Saint Francis. Probably like many of you, I was asked to list my strengths and weaknesses. I thought hard about the question and ended up naming “faith” as one of my strengths. I explained this by stating, “I really believe that God’s ways are better than ours.”

I consider faith as one of my greatest strengths. But the truth is I don’t always practice it. This is a paradox, isn’t it? On the one hand, I have some faith. And what little I have is as important to me and my work as a Christian leader as anything else. But at the same time, I don’t trust God as much as I believe I should. Yet, even here—even in my lack of faith and lack of its employment—I still desire that God’s work and will be done in my life and in the life of the churches that I serve. I live in the world through a hope that springs from a seed of imperfect faith; yet I long for it to grow.

Now that was an awkward and imprecise paragraph. But faith—at least faith on this side of the veil—is awkward and imprecise. And this, I think, is an appropriate way to step into the season of Advent.

The readings, the songs, the poetry—these all point to something that is desired but not yet known, at least not fully. To sing, “Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus,” is to take what faith we have and lift it heavenward. To say, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel,” is to offer a hope-prayer that we do not yet fully understand. Yet, there remains something within us that moves us to trust and to seek an even greater depth of trust.

If we do not know the value of trust… if we do not appreciate the beauty of hope… if we do not have a longing for deliverance… then, chances are, Advent will mean little to us. It will be little more than a countdown to Christmas. On the other hand, if we do treasure the seed of faith growing within—no matter how small it might seem—then Advent is perhaps the greatest of seasons. Advent nurtures the awkward and imprecise faith of pilgrims. It blessed the trust of the patient and the longing of the hopeful.

So come again to light the candles as we await the coming of the Savior. Be with others who’s awkward and imprecise faith is their greatest strength. Join those who’s half-lives are longing to be made whole. And you will find that the seed within you can grow…

Grace and Peace,

Mark