Caring for the Soul

Each week when I sit down to write my blog entry, I pause. I ask myself, now what did I write about last time... I tend to be just a bit paranoid about saying too much about what's wrong. It's not so much the content as the tone. I don't like to write too many downer articles in a row. I've only got a couple of readers anyway and I really don't want to drive them away with too much doom and gloom. I figure it's probably hard on me as well--dwelling too much on the negative. There's more than enough bringing people down already; we really don't need to be bathing in it. So as easy as it might be to rant week after week, I sincerely try to offer something constructive from time...really, I do!

It is hard though. When I think honestly about the difference between the things that make me feel good and the things that depress me, it is a rather sobering consideration. For example, think about how much time and energy we spend on things that really don't do much for our souls. After attending to things like work, worry, and the crisis of the moment, there just isn't that much time left in the day. We almost have to go out of our way to take a walk, enjoy a good conversation or make love. And even if we do take the time, it's usually the last time of the day. In other words, the things that might feed our souls often get the very least of our attention and energy.

What's especially discouraging here is that I'm probably in the top 10% when it comes to actually having time and energy to do these kinds of things. I've got a job that allows unique freedom. We pastors work largely on a schedule that we choose. We have the time to think and pray and converse. In short, we are set apart specifically to attend to the soul. We are given the space to pay attention to things that restore life. And as such, we have a real chance to invite others to do the same. Sadly, many spiritual guides run from the opportunity. Perhaps we are afraid that others will resent the freedom or perhaps we have bought into the same model of production that is plaguing the people that we serve.

So rather than embracing and celebrating the space and taking the opportunity to encourage others to do the same, many pastors just feel guilty about their unique callings. We anxiously strive to fill our space with the same kinds of energy-draining busy work that everyone else seems to be suffering under. All this simply to avoid the strangeness of not being driven by work.

Recently I received a survey. It was sent by a third-party company to research the health of Methodist clergy in North Carolina. The questions were interesting. They dealt with everything from physical fitness and eating habits to self-esteem and congregational support. The survey was trying to assess the overall health of people like me which, of course, includes mental and spirtual health as well as physical health. Although it seems that I am healthier than many of my colleagues, I didn't find this especially encouraging. Compared to the general public, Methodist clergy have higher instances of heart disease, asthma, high blood pressure and depression. At some point, I am sure someone will explain why this is. But I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that the ministry seems to draw a lot of people-pleasing workaholics who don't pay enough attention to their own lives and families. And in this environment, there are very few voices suggesting that they do otherwise.

There is something not quite right about unhealthy spiritual leaders. An old saying about the blind leading the blind comes to mind...Like I said, I honestly think that I am doing better than average. I work pretty hard at not working hard. And yet, I still sense that I still pour too much time and energy into life-sucking rather than life-giving activities. So pray for us. If for no other reason than to make sure we are taking the time to pray for you.

For further reading about this, here's a link to an article that explains pretty well why so many pastors and congregations are as sick as they are right now http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/08/opinion/08macdonald.html