Blog Update

Greetings Friends,

 I am in the process of moving my blog to a new location.  I am still working on the site but if you are interested in catching up on some of my work.  You can see it here: http://www.bluediamondjournal.com

In the meantime, please know that I have absolutely not forgotten you.  And I won't.  I am just trying to sort out some old programming stuff.  Hang in there and keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  Those connections matter.

Mark

The Eagle's Eye and The Tiger's Heart

We are meant to be free.  That's all there is to it.  We are meant to live and explore and see and rejoice and imagine and shatter illusions.  We are meant to be with others or spend some time alone. We are meant to eat the finest manna and breathe the freshest air.  We are meant to swim with dolphins and whales and understand what they are talking about.  What they are trying to tell us.

The sheer image of a tiger in a cage or an eagle with diminished wings--is it not enough to break a thousand hearts.  And mine is ready to be healed.  Can we not see the wings of the Eagle?  Can we not and feel the heart of the tiger.  I see them.  And I feel them because they are mine.  

I am looking for the alliance today.  I am listening for the voice of the ancestors.  I am looking for the comrades of the universe.  Those who have shed tears or made plans on behalf of wings and hearts.  And yes they are ours.  The majesty and the passion.  The vision and the soul.  This is our majesty and passion.  It is our vision and soul crying out from that quiet place that can never be silenced.  

Do we not know?  Do we not understand? The tiger accepts the cage only to show us that he does not belong there?  And neither do we.  The eagle cries to us from the sky, calling us to wake up and join her.

Won't you help me?  Won't you remember your brothers and sisters who are standing just beyond the waterfall?  Waiting for that last full dose of sunlight.  Yearning to be reborn into that fuller, brighter splendor.

I know that I am free.  What else could I be?  Surely I have the heart of a tiger.  And maybe something beyond even that.  Something that will somehow allow me to return the blessing in some way. To thank and honor those who have roared my spirit back to consciousness when the sounds of the sand dull the ears.  

The tiger is roaring this morning.  I hear it.   It is not the roar of a tiger in a cage.  It is the roar of a tiger that could never be caged--not with a thousand chains.  Can we not hear it?  Listen with your heart! He is calling to the ancestors.  Calling to the comrades of the universe.  Roaring without compromise and reminding us that those wings were never really burnt away.

Say a prayer today.  Say a prayer for the tiger, who misses the jungle.  Say a prayer for the eagle who is watching closely.  Say a prayer for the dolphin who agrees to give up the ocean so that we can move an inch closer to understanding.  Say a prayer for the angels who walk among us and for the men and women who are loving us back to consciousness.  Say a prayer for you and me that our hearts and minds would break free from the illusions, and that our souls would shine forth in the unbounded ways in which all Creation was meant to shine.

Divergent

My daughter is an avid reader.  She went through a stretch where it seemed she was reading three or four books at the same time.  For a stretch, it was mostly dystopian fiction.  (I never pronounce that word correctly.) Each of those stories told some story about how earth or another earth-like planet had morphed into some kind of utopian world gone wrong.

One of these books was entitled, Divergent. (I see that the story is now a major motion picture coming to a theatre near you.)  Divergent tells the story of a futuristic society that is essentially divided up into five groups of people, each focused and dedicated to one of five specific virtues or areas of expertise.  Here is the Wiki summary: This story takes place in the city of Chicago in the near future. The city is divided into 5 factions: Abnegation, meant for the selfless; Amity, meant for the peaceful; Candor, meant for the honest; Dauntless, meant for the brave; and Erudite, meant for the knowledgeable. On a given day each year, all sixteen-year-olds take an aptitude test that will tell them for which faction they are best suited. After receiving the results of their test, they must decide whether to remain with their family or transfer to a new faction. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divergent_(novel)

You might notice that the term, "Divergent," is not one of the five factions or virtues.  And, indeed, that is precisely what happens.  The main character has strong indicators in more than one area.  An interesting development, yes?  In a world so meticulously divided, what happens if a some one does not really fit cleanly into one specific category?

Divergent raises other questions as well.  For example, which is preferable? To be supremely adept in a single virtue or to be solid or above average across several?  And, more subtly, what might be the purpose of even having a society like that, a society that makes it a point to categorize people like that?  One might argue that this is simply "natural." That this is what is happening all the time anyway.  Humans historically setting up their camps and fencing off their neighbors, and often for much less civilized reasons. So why not streamline the process and simply tighten up the focus, and allow these natural tendencies to take hold according to some kind of science?

As you might have gathered, I am a little cool on overly managed worlds.  I am not a big fan of fences.  And even though there are some folks that I might just as soon leave to some mono-thematic rigor, I just can't bring myself to like the idea of perfection through labeling and division.  (Ironically, my daughter's most recent reading was Romeo and Juliet.)  I just like lots of different things?

In a world of excellence through division, I think I'll take divergent. Granted, it might take a little longer to cover the coursework and mastering more than one virtue is certainly a tall (and maybe even vane) order.  I just don't want to have to choose between things like knowledge and peace?  

Besides, don't we need at least a few renaissance folks, to serve as translators or something?

An Open Letter to the Universe

I've been praying a lot lately so this might be redundant.  But just in case:

WE ARE STILL HERE!  We are working very hard to hold, shine and anchor.  Honestly, trying to set records or something.  So don't give up on us.  Or, if you are holding some kind of grudge, then you might want to give up.  Because it turns out that we are pretty resilient.

We believe in mutual love and respect.

We believe in freedom.

We believe in cooperation.

We believe in spirit.  And in Spirit!

We believe in oceans and mountains and trees.

We believe in dogs AND cats.

We believe in creativity and in Newness.

We believe in learning and growing.

We believe in healthy bodies and expansive minds.

We believe Heart and Soul.

We believe that we can help; we're just not sure the best ways to do that sometimes.

We believe in forgiveness and hope.

We believe in clean water and fresh air.

We believe in connections and the free exchange of ideas, and we know that some of these come from your side of all this

We believe in human potential; some of us even believe in the inherent goodness of people.

We believe in sunshine and rain and wind and courage; love and light and knowledge and wisdom; we believe in friendship and loyalty, faith and faithfulness; we believe in life and in living things.

We believe...

So keep up the faith.  Keep up the help and keep those communication lines open.  Keep working at those fences and we will do the same.  Expect good things.  And you will see them.  Expect us to overcome every obstacle and we probably will.  Be generous in your hope and dare to offer a blessing or two that might seem outside the stadium.  You can say the humans made you do it.

Like I said, probably a little redundant.  But I trust you understand.

Have a miraculous day.

Mark

Signs and Wonders

I am presently hopeful.  And grateful.

Earlier this afternoon, I looked out the window of our house to see a number of birds flying rather enthusiastically around a single tree in the center of the turn around here in the development.  I watched for a few moments to see if I was not making more of this than was actually there.  But, sure enough, these birds were having a serious go of it.  Flying in and out of the tree as though they might be excited--very excited--about something.

And then just a few moments ago, I walked to the window looking out over the small pond behind the houses.  At this point, I realized that all the birds that I was watching were robins.  They were bathing in the pond with the same enthusiasm I had seen prior.  I watched as twenty or thirty robins were cleaning themselves while others darted in and around the neighborhood.  It was a delight and surely some kind of sign.  If only that robins are alive and well.  Perhaps preparing for something grand!  My sense is that it might be something more.  And I continue to pray for the eyes (I just noticed that "eyes" and "yes" have the same letters) to see, the ears to hear , the heart to feel and the mind to comprehend such wonders.

I am reminded today of one of my visions for the kingdom.  It is a thinning of the veil between the realms.  That is a sharing in the joys of Creation and the wonders of the Creator.  There surely must be much that we cannot yet comprehend.  But with the coming restoration and our capacity to behold, embrace and enjoy it, perhaps our limited sight will begin to give way to the great wonders that are just beyond the limits of our present vision.

In any case, I wish everyone a blessed day today.  I hope that you too will enjoy those wonderful reminders that something wonderful is never far away and, perhaps, nearing.

I feel like a bath may be in order. Or, at least a shower.

no deal

Some day they'll open up your world
Shake it down on a drawing board
Do their best to change you
They still can't erase you... "Hand Me Down" Matchbox 20

God must have incredible eyes.  To be able to see past all the numbers and probabilities like that.  To be able to see how we will fall so far and so hard, and yet still have the nearly insane capacity to get up again and again.

I saw "Billy Jack" when I was about ten years old.  I saw "The Hiding Place" before that.  I think my mom took me to it when I was five or maybe seven.  Today, something like that might be considered abuse.  Truth telling feels like that sometimes.  I am not sure which came first--the impression those two stories had on my identity or the identity that greeted them when they arrived.

The picture above has been on this site for a long time.  On the one hand, I feel a little bad about this because I used to work hard to match the picture with the blog entry.  But today it feels kind of right.  That strange looking bucket of bolts is the "Serenity."  It is the ship from the film of the same name, inspired by the brief TV series, "Firefly."  The ship carries a modest crew.  Seven (or eight if you count Inara) live on board the Serenity.  They live in-between.  They neither serve the empire nor are they overtly raging against it.  Being an outlier is not easy but it does have it's benefits.  Hence the name of the ship.

The ships captain is Mal Reynolds, a very human ex-soldier who has seen and suffered enough of the trappings of waging someone else's war.  He does his best to keep his ship and friends clear of the prying eyes of the empire and the trouble of such entanglements.

Romans 13 (by no means my favorite chapter of the Bible) states, "owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law."  Wisdom, indeed, in a world where debt binds tightly,  and so undermines serenity.  

In the film, there comes a time when Mal has to make a hard decision.  It is Hollywood in that regard.  But the story doesn't end with the battle, but with its conclusion when Serenity takes to flight again.  And the handful of in-betweeners are allowed to be, and to go their way into the multiverses without the chains and prying eyes of someone else's defining.

Here's a blessing:  A live version of "Hand Me Down."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HZ3dS-GnuA

Advent Wisdom

I have a friend.  At least I think that I do.  She and I seem to flit in and out of one another's lives from time to time.  She has a deep wisdom that has been forged over time.  It has been forged in experience as well as knowledge--the kind that is gained through reading and handed on from generation to generation.

Wisdom is something that is hard to measure.  It's is a treasure.  But treasures can become diminished if they cannot be rightly (and lightly) carried.  On the one hand, it is good to be wise and wisdom is one of those things that carries you, especially in those more difficult stretches.  However, it can also feel like a burden.  Like a backpack that you take with you even when you are going on a short hike.  Like a reliable backpack, experience and knowledge are not easily set aside, even in moments of rest.  But that can be cumbersome at times, a bit like bringing an encyclopedia to book club.

Sometimes we need to just be.  Just sit and laugh and enjoy the moment.  This too is wisdom, though wisdom of a different kind, I think.

Advent is a season of preparation.  The wise (like the wise men) follow the star.  Yet, when they arrive, they find a very modest scene.  They set down their gifts and humble themselves before the mystery.  As far as we know, they do not feel the need to speak or expand on all the lessons that their wisdom has taught them.  It is apparently enough simply to be there.  And to offer their respective gifts.

Today I am thinking of my friend.  I am thinking of her journey and of mine.  I know that we carry our blessings and that they are sometimes burdens.  I know that we both want to carry wisdom rightly and lightly.  And I hope for both of us to find those moments where we are blessed to simply be there.

May we all be blessed as we once again prepare ourselves for the mystery of the ages.

Distance

I was half the naked distance between hell and heaven's ceiling and he almost pulled me under... Indigo Girls, "Prince of Darkness"
It seems rather remarkable that in the span of my lifetime, time and distance have come to mean everything and nothing.
What I mean by this is that there was a time in which both of these things seemed to be impossible. Impossible to comprehend and impossible to conquer. And now, it would seem that both are immensely overrated.
When I think about time today, I think about illusion. Earthbound time is something that does seem to demand our attention and devotion. Though I am not sure that it deserves it. Ultimately, it seems that the only power that anything really has is the power that we give to it. In this regard, our slavery to the clock is like staying in a prison that has no walls. A lot of my life feels like that these days. Still working on taking those first few steps out of the cage. Oh, and it appears to be a bird cage. Who knew?
Distance... another illusion. Or maybe just a misunderstood mystery. How far is it to the Sun? How far is it anywhere, really? I've been trying to get to California for six months. I think it might be closer to the Sun. O.K., forget the metaphysics. Just try to wrap your head around the science (or pseudo-science). We have all heard that analogy of the football field and the tennis ball or golf ball or whatever. No? They say that, proportionately, an atom is, for all meaningful purposes, really just empty space. According to the analogy, the neutron can be likened to a tennis ball in the middle of a football field and the electron/s that orbit/s around it are equivalent to a running track encircling that football field. In other words, it's just this energy field that appears to be solid but really it is just empty space--though, importantly, it is energized empty space.
It is possible to hear these kinds of things that keep them safely categorized in something called, "Physics" or "Quantum Mechanics," and never consider what this might mean in terms of spirit and spirituality. But why would we want to do that? Why would we not wonder how all this relates to us and our day to day lives? BTW, I do not have the answer to that question, but I do believe that it is a worthwhile question.
And I believe that by asking it, we might find ourselves surprised. It may well be that in the pursuit of an answer to time and distance, we might innocently find some other answers to some other questions that have troubled us all our lives. One of my favorite examples here is the question, "where did it go?" Where did that moment go? Where did that special someone go? Where did that opportunity go? Is it really gone, or is it just hiding out of our present vision?
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark,
and I do not feel the romance I, I do not catch the spark...
Indigo Girls, "Prince of Darkness."

Stretching

Everywhere I look, it seems that things are stretching and trying to grow. Or, they are being held back because of some resisting force. It is, as if our very beings are struggling to become something more, but there is also aspects within us that are anxious and, therefore sometimes working against us. The same is true for the collective, though it is harder to see and slower in coming. Recently, I heard a metaphor likening our experience to that of a rubber band--at one point being pulled and thinned and then returning to a more settled stasis. While the analogy is overly simple, it does provide a way to explain what many people are feeling. As that rubber band (our experience of growth or change) stretches, it can feel either freeing or dislocating, depending on the way we perceive what is happening. And then when the it returns (when our perception and/or experience of all this stabilizes), the anxiety fades. But what has happened in the process is that the rubber band has actually returned to a "new normal." That is, even though the greater stress is gone, the impact remains. The stretching has had a lasting impact, even if it is not immediately detectable. Additionally, the change--even though it may be extremely slight has, in turn, created a possibility (or, more likely, a range of possibilities) that was not there before. I am not sure how this will strike the reader. Simply talking about this might add to the stress. However, my hope is that it will provide a means of explaining what some people are experiencing. I also hope that by speaking about it, we can get a better handle on what it means--or might mean--and how we can proactively relate to this. For what I am talking about about might not be simply happening "to" us. It might be something that we are more actively involved with than we realize. In terms of traditional theology, what I am talking about here is free will. We tend to think about free will in terms of individual choices and that is certainly not wrong. However, what we do not necessarily think much about is how all those individual choices add up and where they ultimately lead us. Think about it in terms of prayer. Prayer is not merely request. It is intent. It is an effort to pull or push the rubber band in a certain direction. Of course, this is somewhat alarming to consider because we pray to God an trust that God knows what best to do with our prayers. But what happens when God gets many prayers--many efforts to stretch--in a a certain direction? What happens then? (I am still working on this... so don't be put off by what appears to be a sudden conclusion)

I Knew That...

I wanted to take a moment and respond to the service that we had yesterday. I realize that I have not blogged about anything for about a month. I am sorry for that. The reason is that I have been spending a lot of my time and creative energy working on something else. I offer this not in the way of an excuse, but an explanation, and maybe a lesson. We all have much to offer but it is not infinite. We need to take time to re-center and recharge (even Jesus did this by the way). We also need to accept that it takes time and energy to give ourselves in worthwhile ways.

Having said that, I do want to take time out of my present project and celebrate something.

Yesterday, I mentioned a couple of films in my sermon. I am always a little reluctant about this. For even though many people resonate, others find it confusing and have told me as much. Because of this, I try to be fair in my illustrations. However, yesterday was something of an exception. I made two fairly lengthy references to parables in cinema. The first was a recent film called, "In Time." The second was a somewhat older movie called, "Serenity." Both are science fiction stories.

Following the service, a number of people shared with me that they had seen "Serenity," and/or the short television production that the film was based on. It was clear to me that these people really connected with that story-line and, consequently, with the sermon. It is always nice to get an affirmation like that; however, in this case, it was especially cool. It was cool not only because these people appreciated something that I connected with--but because, I think, my sermon helped to affirm something in them that they may not have yet understood.

You see, I think that the narrative (the characters, plot, setting, etc) of "Serenity" had already blessed them in some way. But because of the nature of our world (television and movies are just entertainment), they may not have been able to embrace it as fully as they might. By hearing a representative of the Gospel speak favorable about the film, allowed them to accept what they had sensed all along. Namely, that there is a lot to that story.

What I am talking about hear is generally called intuition. Intuition is something that we all have, but many of us have lost our capacity to access it--or trust it, really.

I do not need to go on about this, because if you are reading this, then you already have an idea of what I am saying here. Moreover, the nature of intuition is that it is actually undermined by too much analysis. So I will leave it at that.

In any case, if this blog rings true, then good luck on your journey. I believe that you have tapped into something that is a great gift for you, and it will continue to be exceedingly important in the time ahead.

Digital Protesting

Have you noticed that you cannot access some sites today? It is not your browser or ISP. The shutdown is a statement on behalf of some of these companies. They are resisting the SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and the PIPA (Protest IP ACT). Now why in the world would successful and even very large Internet-based companies be against something called the "Stop Online Privacy Act?"

Could it be the the name of the bill does not really reveal what the legislation is actually about? Some time ago, I preached a sermon in which I said that when you begin to hear that they want to "regulate" the Internet, it might be a good time to start praying.

The fundamental issue behind these bills represents a concerted effort to control the world in which we live. Of course, there is pirating taking place on the Internet. And, of course, there are some people who are going to benefit from a lack of regulation. However, the real issue is not piracy. It is control. And who exactly gets to regulate all this? Is it a specific nation-state or will there be some kind of world-internet-police agency that will be in charge of keeping and eye on things? "

The Internet has historically been a fairly open-forum of information and communication. It is trans-national, trans-cultural, and trans-economic. Regulatory interests are going to change this. The only question is how will it change?

Are we awake yet? Is this once again the same old choice? Can it be that it all really comes down to love or fear?

The short and long of it

The title should might read, "the big and small of it." Because what I am actually referring to here are decisions. Decisions are more often defined by size rather than distance but, at the same time, they also have ramifications that move forward in time and space. We might even say that the decisions we make have a history or, perhaps better, that they create a journey that can be short or long lived.

I have always been skeptical of choice. I am speaking here not so much about the individual choices that we make but rather the grandiose claims about choice itself. Some say that choice is the end all of human experience--the most important characteristic of being human. I have historically disagreed rather strongly.

Part of this is simply my education. My formal training both philosophical and theological has been decidedly anti-modern. Modern philosophy is generally traced back to Renee Descartes who gave us the famous (or infamous from where I come from) phrase, "I think therefore I am."

It is said that Descartes, perhaps unknowingly, literally moved the center locus of reality from the external to the internal. Specifically, as the father of what is commonly called "Critical Philosophy," Descartes saw an enormous problem with knowledge. In his quest for what he called "clear and distinct" knowledge, Descartes found that he could really know nothing for sure--except that he was thinking about it. The discovery caught on and, over time, we inherited a world that is completely uncertain. We now come to know and understand this world not be accepting it as it appears to us but by abstracting it--by pulling it in to our minds.

The key point here is that we now naturally do this. If we live in the West, Critical philosophy or approaching the world through abstraction is what we learn. It is the prevailing educational model and essentially the air that we breathe. So, in terms of the current discussion, there is no choice as to whether or not we think this way.

Now imagine being told that this basic tenet is actually wrong--that Descartes apparent revelation was, in fact, a misstep. That the modern world's embrace of the critical method did reveal knowledge but instead distanced us from it--perhaps so far that we can no longer even see it--even though it is right there in front of us. Imagine that and you have a basic picture of my formal education. (Makes me think of Paul Simon, "It's a wonder I can think at all.")

Despite whatever suffering I may have endured in all of this, I cannot deny that I have been blessed as well. For I have been able to see things that others do not. For example, I can see how the modern world's unrelenting emphasis upon choice has gone a long way to casting the world as a vast marketplace in which truth is largely relative. We simply traverse the universe picking and choosing our way... what to do, what to believe--what to buy--as though we might be merely working our way through a supermarket.

So anyway--choice. In a world that is so enamored with the wonder and power of the human mind, I have always had this nagging resistance to it. Right--because Descartes is the villain? So choice, is just a trap. It is the illusion that we gods of some kind and that our thought processes are more important, or even more real than the external world...

That's the formal reason for my skepticism about choice, but there is another, probably more relevant reason. I am also not especially bullish on commitment. I am much better at thinking about options than I am about living with choices. This is a confession BTW. The entire entry here might be. For despite my suspicion of thought--the fact is, it might be one of the few things that I actually do well. So if you're still following, the confession is hypocrisy or maybe just futility.

So what you have here is the anti-thinker thinking... And today I am thinking about the lasting impact of the choices that we make.

And what I am thinking about specifically is which are the more important. Is it those decisions that we imagine to be the big ones? You know, the handful that we can identify in a lifetime that appear to make those substantial differences in our journeys? Or, is it the smaller ones that we make every day? I suppose these would be likened to the tiniest edges of the fractal?

I am curious about this because I am curious about change. I mentioned in my last blog that I have been reading Carlos Castenada and listening to the philosophical musings of Don Juan. He seems to believe that change is not only possible but necessary--at least for those of us who care enough to live something other than a boring life. A Christian equivalent here might be Jesus' statement to Nicodemus that in order to see the Kingdom, "ye must be born again." Though I am not sure it is exactly the same thing.

There are certainly worse things than a boring life. However, Jesus seems to invite us to something remarkable. So the point, or rather the urgency, here is that we might well miss the kingdom if we do not change or become reborn in some way.

Of course, the modern world as well as many practicing Christians are quite sure that they see just fine. But I am curious today how choice fits into all of this? Does there come a point at which it is simply too late? That we are so far down the wrong road that we simply no longer have the capacity to reconsider some of the choices that we have made along the way?

Don Juan suggests that the issue (or the problem) is not simply the choices themselves. It is rather the attitude or posture with which we make them. He notes that most people live their life as though they are going to live forever. And because of this, there is a certain sloppiness (my word) about the way that we act. He suggests to Carlos Castenada that we should act as though our next action might well be our last. His suggestion is that we imagine ourselves the hunter but we are more rightly the prey.

"..if you are going to die there is no time for timidity, simply because timidity makes you cling to something that exists only in your thoughts. It soothes you while everything is at a lull, but then the awesome, mysterious world will open its mouth for you, as it will open for every one of us, and then you will realize that your sure ways were not sure at all..."

"It is not natural to live with the constant idea of our death, don Juan." [Castendad protests]

"Our death is waiting and this very act we're performing now may well be our last battle on earth," he replied in a solemn voice. "I call it a battle because it is a struggle. Most people move from act to act without any struggle or thought..." (p.85)

As I mentioned in my prior blog. I am not sure what to make of don Juan's philosophy but I appreciate his candor and his intentionality. As a man who has made it a point of avoiding both choices and the responsibility that comes with them, I find myself feeling a bit like Carlos Castenada--exposed and vulnerable.

Are all the surprises over?

I have recently been reading Journey to Ixtlan by Carlo Castenada. I was supposed to read it 28 years ago when I was taking a college course entitled, "Native Americans" but I don't think I did. Or if I did, I am sure I didn't give much effort to understanding it.

There is actually a great story behind this too. When I started college, I had no idea what I wanted to study. After my freshman year, I decided to major in Environmental Studies (which was a pretty obscure major back then). I liked the subject matter and figured that I might become a park ranger or something but I hated going to the science labs.

The labs were three hours each and always in the afternoon which played havoc on my primary interest...athletics. I had also been taking some history and religion courses as part of the general education requirements. These were more interesting to me than even science and they had no labs so by the second semester of my sophomore year, I had declared a double-major in History and Religion.

I imagined the two fields to be complimentary. And they were to a degree. However, my primary historical interest was American History and the American History professor at the college was the wayward son of a Lutheran pastor. He not only despised Christianity, he fully imagined himself as some kind of Indian sorcerer. I trust that he got the idea from the the real or fictitious character of Don Juan--the desert mystic upon which Castenada's writings are centered.

So anyway, that was my college education. Half the time, I spent learning Christianity's relevance to the world and, half the time, I spent listening to my American History professor insist that it was the bane of human existence--though I think this was more my professor's baggage than a reflection of Don Juan's own sentiments..

There are many quotable statements in Journey to Ixtlan. In fact, I might have simply listed the chapter titles (Erasing Personal History, Losing Self-Importance are two of the first three!). Here is one of the statements from the book that has got me thinking:

On Erasing Personal History:

"You see," he went on, "we only have two alternatives; we either take everything for sure and real, or we don't. If we follow the first, we end up bored to death with ourselves and the world. If we follow the second and erase personal history, we create a fog around us, a very exciting and mysterious state in which nobody knows where the rabbit will pop out, not even ourselves." (p. 17)

I think that a great challenge in our time is freshness. Is it because we have a hard time imaging that something could really be new? Or is it simply that nothing really is? I like Don Juan's comment because I do not know how to feel about it. But I cannot argue with his logic. If we do not take everything as for sure and real, it certainly makes the the world more interesting--though it also makes it a bit less stable as well.

This will be an interesting year. There are simply too many omens and uncertainties to ignore them all. Here's wishing you a very NOT BORING New Year!

Christmas in the Camp

[Spoiler alert: Christmas falls on a Sunday this year. Therefore some of the following is likely to be repeated on Christmas Day 2011. If you prefer your sermons uber fresh, you might want to wait until Monday to read this. It was not my intent to write a sermon but sometimes it just goes with the territory...]

In the film, "Schindler's List," the main character finds himself drug into a world of suffering. He doesn't go looking for the suffering. In fact, he initially finds himself financially blessed by the Nazi war effort and the subsequent slave labor created by the Jewish Ghetto.

As the story turn even darker, and Amon Goeth arrives to oversee the construction of a concentration camp, Oskar probably begins to see the inhumanity and evil that is connected to his own good fortune. Nevertheless, he intends to bifurcate his own story from that of the Jews who are working in his factory. The rationale is simple. Schindler is a German and a businessman. Although what is happening around him is sad, it doesn't concern him personally... Or so he tries to believe.

However, the worse things get, the more Oskar finds that the world is shared--that those who benefit from the Nazi regime are, in fact, connected to those who are suffering under it. Though he might want to believe that his story is distinct and separate from the men and women working in his factory, his experience increasingly demonstrates otherwise. Perhaps despite himself, Oskar Schindler comes to realize that he sincerely cares about these people. Their suffering is his suffering.

This identification with the other is, I believe, at the heart of the Christmas message. It is God's identification with us--and especially with our plight--that makes the Christian message unique. Yet, it is also what makes it universal. The Gospel story emerges from a specific tradition but the message that it declares belongs to all of Creation. And he shall be called Immanuel--God with us...

I realize that Occupy Wall Street is something of a political issue for some, and an enigma to others. I do not know all the ins and outs of the movement but there are some aspects that I certainly respect. I respect people standing up for what they believe--even when they may not be able to exactly articulate what that is. I respect people who work peacefully for change in the world and refuse to be defined by others simply because they have more power and influence. And I respect that the OWS people have given all of us something to think about by using the simple ratio 99-1.

To suggest that there might be a ratio to describe injustice is a provocative claim. To point out the considerable distance between the many and the few in this regard is, I think, a revelation in our time. The way that I have been describing it of late, is to invite us to think of a refugee camp. To imagine that there is a vast enclosed space--probably not unlike a prison, except that this prison is so enormous and so full of stuff that we never actually see the fences.

What the OWS folks have done by lifting up that ratio of 99-1 is to point out the fences. They dare us to consider that we too are probably a part of the poor and the disenfranchised. This is a startling consideration. For we might say that in the world there is something like a refugee camp. And we might acknowledge that a great many of the world's people are living in it. But can we see ourselves living in it right now? A strange, and perhaps unwelcome, suggestion. Yet, if the world really is divided into the 99 and the 1 (or the 999 million and the one), then things are not as they seem--and we are not who we imagine ourselves to be. In fact, if this is true, then we are the very people that we very often look down up-on and disregard...

That's the news. But this news is not all bad. And for a number of reasons.

First, the Good News here is that Jesus is born in Bethlehem. So it appears that God identifies with (or maybe even favors) the refugees. But that's not all, if we come to understand ourselves as refugees, things look different. Suddenly we begin to see that perhaps everyone we know lives in the same camp with us. And, therefore, we have a connection with others that we may have never really seen before.

Like Oskar, we might have initially assumed that we would be better off identifying with the people who are running things . But at some point, we begin to catch glimpses. We see what the system is doing to people--not only to others but to ourselves as well. We come to realize that we too are being run.

It is an important day when we see how much we have in common with the person getting our coffee. It is a really important day when we come to see how much we have in common with the person picking the beans for that coffee. And it is a painfully important day when we come to see how much we have in common with people who have suffered and died to place that same coffee on our table.

Initially, it might be frightful--the revelation. But then it becomes a blessing. Because we can then see that we have many more friends and a much larger family than we once understood. We begin to understand why solidarity matters and why justice is a worthwhile goal. Peace, too, becomes a more tangible and needful desire. The world gets clear and we begin to look for and work for something better--something very much like the Kingdom that Jesus proclaims...

Of poppies and pop culture

Yesterday, our children's choir led our worship at Saint Francis. And I do mean led. The message that they brought was the message that many of us--myself included--needed specifically to hear. They sang a piece entitled, "Don't Miss the Manger." While the song might have drifted to the kind of sentimentality that we tend to associate with children and Christmas, the truth is that it turned out to be a powerful and prophetic lesson, especially to the terminally jaded in our midst.

Religion is dangerous stuff. It can so easily be reduced and manipulated. Marx called it "the opiate of the masses." He is generally criticized for the statement but that is just because what he says is so potentially true.

A friend recently forwarded me an article entitled, Americans: Undecided About God? from the New York Times. He notes how little God is mentioned in our society. He suggests that people should be more willing to talk about God in public but then quickly acknowledges the challenge given the simplistic and obnoxious expressions of spirituality currently representing the public sphere. The article is essentially an appeal for a better standard when it comes to religion. The writer suggests that many of us might want to discuss God more openly but we just cannot bring ourselves to do so when religion in our time appears to be so embarrassing.

I understand his assessment though I disagree with the solutions that he offers. It is tough though. It is hard to argue with anyone who sees the cheesy and sleazy that so often accompanies the world of religion. This is not really new though. Those who would aspire to a spiritual journey have always had to put in the extra time and work around the quicksand.

It's always easy to criticize religion. This is because, like politics, loud expressions of religion always give folk so much to work with. But have you noticed the secular lately? Not really looking much better over there. Turn on television and take a look at that stuff. There is no monopoly when it comes to the dumbing-down of America...

Frankly, I feel for anyone out there floundering in this sea of drivel. Believers and atheists alike have very little to choose from. It takes some work to find the higher ground. And, of course, for those of us who would follow Jesus, higher ground is something of an oxymoron anyway.

So what does it look like? Authentic life? True spirituality? How do we listen for a God who might speak somewhat softer than the experts would have us believe? And who might also be a bit more sophisticated than the intellectuals are counting on?

Jesus admonishes his would-be followers to be "wise as serpents; harmless as doves." So it probably takes some effort to rise above the noise out there. But I believe that it is worth it. It's "the good fight" if you will--to see beyond the cynical as well as the simple.

I was moved by our kids yesterday. They reminded me that I need to curb my condescension. That I am not as smart as I think I am, nor am I as safe. When the silliness drives us half-mad, it is easy to become self-righteous. But cynicism is a trap that is no better than ignorance.

I think that the truth is, we all need help. Let's not miss the manger.

Still Cynical? Here's Natalie Merchant offering a somewhat dated but always spot-on commentary on the human condition Candy Everybody Wants

50 Questions To Free Your Mind

Some healthy food for the thought. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the right answer:

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
32. If not now, then when?
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
[I found this at http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/ though I am not sure this was the original source.]

Integrity

I want to begin by apologizing for anyone who slogs through my comments this week. Our administrative assistant--who is a wonderful person btw--was out of town for Thanksgiving when I began writing this. I also want to apologize for the length that this is likely to be. Though it may not seem it, I generally do try to stay focused. But this is liable to get long and trying. So use your judgment here. If you begin to feel exhausted or bored--or, if you find that my thoughts here make you want to like me less--then please go do something else. We live in an age that is devoted to superficiality. So while I am passionate and feel that my reading comments here are important, they're probably not important enough to trade for the patience of my friends.

Clarification: The word integrity is most often used as a moral qualifier. It references a measure of trustworthiness. However, I am pretty sure that this is actually a derivative meaning. The word fundamentally refers to the concept of wholeness or singleness, as in a chemical compound or solution. To have integrity means to be more consistent and less polluted. A person of integrity is solid in their constitution and understandable in their speech because they carry themselves and speak from a center that is whole.

I begin here because I believe that one of the best ways of understanding our world today is to note that it is seriously lacking in integrity. What I mean here is not merely that people do not tell the truth or that they have mixed motives and agendas. I mean, rather, that the very framework of our reality is severely polluted. Our society seems to be functioning out of corrupted center. It may have always been thus but if it has, I have not always been aware of it.

To explain what I mean here, I offer three simple questions to consider. To what extent are we being lied to by the powers? To what extent are these people aware that they are doing this? And to what extent do we, the people, care?

To what extent are we being lied to?
There are three ways to answer the first question. We are either not lied to; we are somewhat lied to; or we are considerably lied to. Certainly, some believe that everything that we are told by the powers (political leaders, economic experts, and the media) is true but this, it seems to me, is a small percentage of people--at least of the handful of folks reading this blog.

Most folks probably assume that there is some misrepresentations afoot. We may even believe that this is o.k. Perhaps we assume that our leaders have our best interests at heart so if they have to lie in order to protect or serve the larger good in some way, we can accept that. I am not in agreement with this philosophy but that is not even my primary concern at this point. I am rather wondering at what point somewhat becomes considerable. For sadly, it seems that we are seeing more and more evidence that much of what we see and hear from power these days is either a complete lie or some kind of derivative of a previous lie. (When I refer to the powers here, I am not talking merely about politics. I am referring to the entire structure: geo-political and corporate-economic.)

To what extent are these people aware that they are lying?
While the initial question is uncomfortable enough, the second is even more disconcerting. I do not want to belabor this but I do want those of us who are interested to think about the ramifications. You see, the assumption is that people in leadership positions know what they are doing. By this, I mean that they are the agents of the ideas that they present and the policies that they put into place.

In this regard, we might say that such leaders are people of integrity. Because even if we do not agree with them, they are still speaking sincerely from their own center. Or, to put it another way, we would trust that these people believe their own nonsense even if no one else does.

Of course, another possibility is that these people are intentionally lying. That they are either acting insincerely themselves or they are being coerced in some way to betray their own integrity. The examples here would be, first, a leadership that believes lying is expediently necessary for the greater good or, second, a proxy leadership that has been secured through blackmail or bribery.

There is actually a third possibility as well. It might be possible that these people have somehow already lost their integrity (their center). That it has been replaced by something else and therefore they cannot recognize their own lies.

A common way to think about this third example is to speak of a puppet. We have all probably heard reference to "political puppets." This is certainly an appropriate metaphor but I am thinking here of something a step beyond even that. I am thinking of people who may not even comprehend the ways in which they are being used by some other person or some other force. [If it is possible that leadership can be so completely compromised, then imagine the condition of those who are following...] This brings us to the final question.

To what degree do we care?
Some would say that the details are of little concern to the people--that as long as things are going well (or well enough), it does not matter whether or not our leaders are lying. This, btw, is very relevant to the current situation. For it seems that the greater constituency of our society is quite happy to allow anything to be done in its name as long as they can somehow see themselves participating in the benefits.

For example, when we read about things like war and torture, a denial of civil rights or national autonomy, we are numbed by the illusion that what we are reading about does not pertain to us. Someone tells us that these things are going on somewhere else and that because of this, our lives are somehow better. We then instinctively believe not only that the claim is true but that these otherwise negative images in no way apply to us--that because these other people are being warred upon and tortured and denied of civil rights, these things are somehow further away from us.

This is disconcerting and, I think, misunderstood. It is foolish to imagine that the wickedness that we let loose on the world will not someday arrive upon our own doorstep. And I fear that such a time is closer than many of us realize.

What is happening?
For some time now, the citizens of our society have been systematically scared into a state of compliance. And once scared, we have little energy to question laws that continue to reduce our freedom. So the great irony is that while we are being told that we are waging all these wars "for our freedom," the fact is that we are becoming less and less free. Therefore, through legally justified ends, we are circumventing moral questions and our society is giving way to tyranny. And because much of our society is thoroughly distracted (with anxiety, entertainment and hedonism), a lot of this is going largely unchecked.

Meanwhile, I sense that there are very real practical and humanitarian consequences for all of this. I am writing now mostly for my own clarification. I guess if I am willing to say some of these things out-loud, then I must actually be considering them. It is kinda like I am pinching myself and asking, "am I really seeing this?" It is a bit surreal.

So I offer my thoughts here to anyone who might be able to set me straight on all this. Tell me I am just seeing things. But first let me tell you what I am seeing...

First Case In Point--WAR:
Are we hearing these highly charged comments about Iran (or Syria or Pakistan or China)? Does it strike us as curious (dangerous?) that supposedly left-of-center politicians seem to have nearly identical ideas about Iran that supposedly right-of-center politicians have? Are we really to imagine that these men and women have spent hours and hours pouring over the facts and have come to this conclusion?

Our public leadership is now talking about Iran in the same ways that we have already heard people talk about Iraq and Libya and Afghanistan and other places. In the days in which I have been working on this, NATO has apparently done something in Pakistan as well. Do you or anyone you know really want to go with war with Iran? Oh, and China keeps coming up too... Where does all this love of bloodshed come from? Who is interested in this? And who is going to benefit?

I recently saw a video in which Michele Bachmann stated that Iraq should reimburse the US for the cost of the war there. An interesting suggestion given the apparent facts. Has it not been pretty much settled that Iraq had nothing to do with 911 and that there were no weapons of mass destruction... So let me get this straight, we have someone running for a major office in this country who believes that it is o.k. to wage unjustified war, thoroughly destroy another country's infrastructure, kill hundreds of thousands of people, and then demand some kind of reimbursement for the trouble. Is this the world we now live in?

BTW, this is not partisan. Democrats and Republicans alike all seem wildly enthusiastic about violence these days. Meanwhile, average people are suffering greatly. Run a searches on what returning soldiers are saying about their time in Iraq. Remember when war used to be bad?

Maybe we can comfort ourselves with some nonsense about keeping us safe. But from what exactly...

http://www.washingtonsblog.com/2011/11/congress-to-vote-next-week-on-explicitly-creating-a-police-state.html

http://www.infowars.com/senate-moves-to-allow-military-to-intern-americans-without-trial/

Second Case in Point--Banking Cartels:
There is a push to centralize Europe. It is coming from the global financial interests. There is also a more subtle interest in doing a similar thing with the U.S., Canada and Mexico. [Don't take my word for it. Do a little research on The North American Union and see what you think. BTW, I like Canada and Mexico, I just think stuff like this should be more open.]

In connection to Case in Point #1, the interest in both European and North American politics these days is driven by the financial world. I realize that it is cliche' to talk about the evil power of banks but it is getting harder to ignore that money is part of all this. Take a look at what is/has happened in Greece and Italy. Those are not haphazard replacement parts. Iceland might be the best example. The thing to think about here is how interest works (pun intended). Bankers do not do things out of the goodness of their hearts, Human Nature 101 suggests that people want things and they make deals that help them get what they want. And the more they get, the more they have to "secure." And the more people have to secure, the less tolerant they are with volatility.

Oh, and did you see this?

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/business/2011/11/bank-bailout-was-way-bigger-anyone-thought/45432/

In case you are tired of all the links, the number in the article is nearly $8 trillion. So what do all those people who were in such a hurry to crucify the Madoff family want to do with the people responsible here?

Third Case in Point--Repression:
This one is harder to see because things have been warming slowly--kinda like frogs in a pot. It is getting more obvious though...

http://current.com/community/93556545_time-magazine-changes-revolution-redux-cover-for-us-print-only.htm

http://www.aclu.org/blog/national-security/senators-demand-military-lock-american-citizens-battlefield-they-define-being

There also appears to be a bill out there to give the authorities more power to control the Internet

http://insearchofsimplicity.com/tag/congressional-bill-to-limit-internet-use/

Not long ago, someone sat me down to tell me about some of the things that I am doing wrong as a pastor. Several of her points were helpful and I appreciated this person's courage to speak with me. However, one of the things she noted was that I had made some reference to politics in one of my sermons and she didn't like this.

I wasn't sure exactly what she meant because although I certainly do address worldly issues, I make it a point to avoid anything that might be construed as partisan. I do this because I don't want to give people an excuse to ignore the help that I am trying to offer them. That... and I am actually doubtful that we even have a two-party system anymore.

Anyway, the truth is that social commentary been an important part of theological and spiritual work for as long as people have believed in God. Just about every person who is referenced in the Bible is there because he/she had something to say about the world around them. And it was generally not favorable.

In this way, saying that politics and religion don't mix is a statement about a natural tension that exists. It is probably a healthy tension given that both of these strong arms of human civilization have, at times, abused their power.

In Jesus' parable of the Great Judgment, the nations of the earth are brought collectively before the throne of God. I do not know whether the judgment will have anything to do with our regional or national affiliations, but just in case, I would prefer to go down as being a part of a peace-loving and just society.

Don't Feed The Trolls

This past Sunday afternoon, I made it downtown to check out the Occupy Charlotte gathering. I wish that I could say that I did this on my own initiative but the truth is that a gentleman in the church had been discussing the situation in a class that he was teaching and had come to me seeking some direction on how he and others might reach out to these people in an appropriate way. I told him that I thought that idea was great and that I wanted to support his class in any way that I could. It turned out that the best way was to physically go with him to meet and talk with some of these people.

Initially, the plan was to provide a simple worship experience on site for those who might appreciate it. However, when we arrived, it became clear that this was not the best way forward. Instead, we sat with a group of people who were actually having something of a strategic planning session. They were using the technique of role-playing to think about some of the challenges facing their goals. It was really quite interesting and inspiring. Because it was clear that they wanted to express their concerns without breaking laws and drawing negative attention to their efforts. The role-playing helped to reveal some of the traps that would likely emerge simply because of the many different people involved.

After about 40 minutes or so, the training session was over and everyone left their "character" parts to discuss more practical matters such as their weekly meeting--they called it a General Assembly. The woman who was leading the training assumed that my friend and I were reporters because we had not really introduced ourselves yet. I explained that I was rather a pastor and explained the story of how we came to be there. While the people were very nice, it was clear that there was an undercurrent of suspicion. It reminded me that Christianity still has a long way to go in terms of restoring its reputation among many people. However, the more we talked the more comfortable everyone became. We stayed a while longer and then turned back toward our car to drive home. As I was leaving, I was struck by the difficulty of their path and the remarkable dedication that it is going to take to accomplish some of the change they and many others are looking for.

There were only about 20 or 30 people at the site when we were there. There were eight or so of us in the middle of the grounds working in the role-playing session--a couple of folks on chairs, the rest of us sitting directly on the ground. There were three or four folks standing near the street holding signs and the rest of the camp was doing other things such as working with the main shelter that held food and other supplies and simply talking amongst themselves.

Every few minutes, someone would drive by and shout something negative from a car--predictable things like "Get a Job you lazy..." To which one or another person from the camp would shout something back at them. At one point, after this had escalated somewhat, one of the women in the training session said, "Don't feed the trolls." Her statement stood out. It was clear that she was trying to encourage the camp to stay focused and not let the movement and the people drift to a lower level of purpose. She didn't say anything more or harangue those of the group that had let their frustration get the best of them but she did make her point. Shouting back negative things at cars was not going to accomplish their goals.

Don't feed the Trolls... I am not even sure I know what that phrase means but it immediately made sense to me. It reminded me of my own temptation to return fire with fire, idiocy with idiocy, hate for hate. And it is hard sometimes because trolls (and they come in many forms!) can truly get annoying. But the fact is that feeding them just encourages them, doesn't it? Seeing the rise out of us fuels their appetite for destruction and negative energy. Seeing us loose our composure and sink a level or two only serves to assure them that there suspicions about us are correct.

This was something that the early Church constantly had to struggle with. It is something that the Church always has to struggle with. The world is watching. And there are those who enjoy nothing more than catching Christians behaving badly. BTW, there are trolls in in the church too.

So what do we do? I don't think the point is to simply take the abuse (though, according to the Sermon on the Mount, it might be). But we do need to be careful about how we respond. Because the message always includes the package that it comes in. Sometimes folks are simply not listening. Other times, they are just hoping to drag you down. It is at these points that we must resist the temptation to feed that negativity. Because the fact is, it's just tough to change the world by shouting at passing cars.

For those who are curious, I respect what folks are trying to do in the various Occupy sites. I sense that they are facing an enormously uphill battle. But I like the fact that people stand up for what they believe and what they believe in. It seems to me that we are living through some challenging times and we really do need some change. I do not know what is going to come of all this but it is my sincere hope that it does not turn us all into trolls.

Some Fine Morning

I had breakfast this morning with a number of men from our church. After we had finished, one of the gentleman waited to speak to me. He asked me if I was O.K. I was a little surprised because we all had a great breakfast, pretty-much laughing all the way through it. I wondered what kind of aura I was giving off.

I replied that I was fine and that I actually felt very good. To which he agreed and said that he sensed the same but just wanted to check. After we talked for a while, I got in the car to drive to work and realized that I really did feel good. I then went on to have a great morning--talking to others, catching up with some friends via email and then having the time to work on my blog.

All that positive reinforcement strangely reminded me of how sometimes it seems that just when our work is over and we might have some time for rest that we are called home. I briefly considered that my present joy might perhaps be a sign of some imminent demise... Of course, that is just the kind of morbid thought that I would expect from myself on an otherwise perfect day!

But it is not altogether crazy. Think of MLK's final sermon or Kennedy's warning to the country shortly before his death. Think of Jesus' important work and how just when it seemed that the disciples might be getting it that he was soon saying goodbye to them.

I remember well the last conversation that I ever had with my dad. I remember leaving the house thinking that I had never seen him so much at peace. The next thing I knew I was getting a call at college from my mom telling me that he had had a heart attack. Strange...

I certainly do not sense that my work on this earth is done--I probably won't even get it done, even if I live another forty or fifty years. Still though, it is something to think about. That we all have some stuff to work on down here. And when it is accomplished, it will be time to go home.

Death is a taboo subject in our modern world. We go out of our way to make sure that we only see things that are full of youth and health, vitality and vigor. It is no longer enough that we watch all those shows about celebrities, we now have shows that update us on what is happening with celebrities when they are not doing shows... Coincidentally, I received an email today from one of the local plastic surgery offices, the subject line read, "You can be Beautiful for the Holidays & Save." Since I am having such a good day, I am going to assume that it was SPAM and not the universe trying to tell me something!

Of course, the truth is that death is part of life. And while I am in no hurry to experience it, I also do not want to let it secretly enslave me. What I mean here is that our fear of death can actually keep us from living life. And fear itself is very likely a form of death. In this way, Christian claims about resurrection and eternal life are probably profound truths that we are just beginning to understand.

For those who are looking for the "practical point" in all of this, here it is: In several places, Jesus makes reference to the surprise of the Gospel. Most familiar here, is his statement, "For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it." (Lk:24) But Jesus puts it slightly different later in Luke's Gospel, stating, "Those who try to make their life secure will lose it, but those who lose their life will keep it." (Lk. 17:33)

I sense that there is more here than we generally see. Of course, we understand this in terms of final things. But is not what Jesus is saying here also true in daily or common things? When we think of free people, or people who are truly alive, do we think of people who are all bound-up and worried about things, strategically trying to secure everything and insuring the future? Or, do we rather think of the people that we know who venture their lives--people who, by casting aside fear and anxiety, invest themselves in the people and the worthwhile projects around them? People, who in a sense, die to themselves and thereby also die to their fears.

Alison reminds us of the beautiful craziness of all this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdRdqp4N3Jw

More than a whisper

Sometimes God sends us just the right surprise at just the right time. These are gifts that sustain us or, at least, provide us sustenance along the journey. These can come in a number of forms--usually one that makes some kind of sense to us.

I've lately been reading a book entitled, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." The story is simple really. It is essentially a novel told in the form of a diary. Charlie has recently entered high school and he is something of a freak. Or, at least, he is told as much by his older sister--and perhaps half the kids in the school he attends, though he doesn't mention this in the diary. Of course, what makes Charlie freaky is simply the fact that he does not fit with whatever it is that identifies the center-point of the world that he must navigate. As this world continues to unfold before him, Charlie feels its weight. Maybe we all do; but we don't all write about it. Most of us don't even talk about it.

For Charlie, the gifts along his journey often come to him in the form of what he calls good music. There is nothing more valuable in Charlie's life than a thoughtfully considered mix-tape. Even in my forties, I can greatly relate. Sometimes I get the sense that there is no one who could stand to hear about all the stuff going on inside my head--except maybe God. But I figure even he gets sick of hearing from me--at least about some things. So I guess every now and then, he sends me a good mix tape.

Here are some of the treasure maps that have kept me going and reminded me that I am not the only freak out there.
so i stumble home at night
like i've stumbled through my life
with ghosts and visions in my sight
we are always living in twilight
"Twilight," The Weepies

Jesus says Mother I couldn't stay another day longer
Fly's right by me and leaves a kiss on her face
While the angels are singing his praises in a blaze of glory
Mary stays behind and starts cleaning up the place
"Mary," Patti Griffin

Oh people, look among you
It's there your hope must lie
There's a sea bird above you
Gliding in one place like Jesus in the sky
We all must do the best we can
And then hang on to that Gospel plow
When my life is over, I'm going to stand before the Father
But the sisters of the sun are going to rock me on the water now
"Rock Me On The Water," Jackson Browne

I know I got a bad reputation
And it isn't just talk, talk, talk
If I could only give you everything
You know I haven't got
"Bad Reputation," Freddy Johnston

Oh, give me more than a whisper
If your sayin', I love you
'Cause it's the whispers
That I've never understood
"More Than A Whisper," Nanci Griffith