Blissfully Bound

I recently had a conversation with a colleague. He had asked me a question about baptism. Apparently a woman in his parish had recently been baptized and and she wanted to know if it would be possible for her grandchildren to be baptized as well. While the woman came regularly and clearly showed conviction and responsibility toward the faith and the life of the church, her own children did not. So the only time her grandchildren were able to come to the church was when the grandmother herself brought them or when there was some kind of drop-off opportunity for the parent such as Vacation Bible School.

My friend explained to the woman that typically he would like to see the parents regularly participating in the life of the church before he would agree to baptize children but that he would think about it and get back to her. He understood that these were unusual circumstances but he wasn't sure what he could or what he should do...

Upon learning that their grandmother had joined the church, the children wanted to be baptized as well. They were old enough for confirmation but there was little chance of the parents getting them there each week for the classes. While my friend certainly wanted to say yes, the theological training that he (and I) had experienced strongly emphasized the importance of the community in the life of the believer. While first and foremost the work of God, baptism is also the responsibility of the congregation and, especially, the parents who are to see that children are raised within the life of the Church. My friend and I had been taught that baptism without parental and communal responsibility is almost nonsensical... It was hard for my friend to imagine himself baptizing pre-teens that he would seldom, if ever, see again. But it was equally hard for him to say no to these children just because their parents didn't care enough to get them to church.

So my friend called me up to see what I thought. Initially I think that he was surprised to hear that I thought he should go ahead and baptize the children. But he was also relieved. I suspect that he felt that way too but needed someone else to confirm his conviction. I suggested that he ask the grandmother to do her best to get the children to worship and Sunday School. In the eyes of the Church, baptized children are the primary responsibility of parents but is it fair to deny children access to the grace of God and the blessings of the church simply because their parents are lazy?

Some time ago, I had a similar experience in my own ministry. I was having a conversation with my wife about a confirmation class that I was teaching. I was concerned because a few parents were not accompanying the confirmands to worship. It seemed that this was a pretty poor example and that it was sending a mixed message to the kids. One of the mothers was a close friend of my wife. So while I was explaining my frustration about all this, she shared with me that she had actually had a conversation with this woman in which the mother made the statement, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."

The comment struck me as frightfully typical of our time. I call it the religion of the leftovers. Basically, it means that God gets the crumbs. After we've spent all that time and energy at work, the gym and the spa... After we've ran our kids all over town for soccer, piano and SAT prep... After we've spent our rewards at the Mall, Disney and the Country Club... We then take whatever is left to the House of the Lord to make our offering. Or not... After all, Sunday is our only day to sleep in.

And that was pretty much how I responded to my wife's half-defense of her friend's commitment to her son's spiritual health. Diane was somewhat appalled at my sarcastic tirade. She responded, "What do you expect? People have to work. They have to pay taxes. You can't just not pay the government or you go to jail..."

Probably not. Besides, would it really be so bad if we did? What's worse, I wonder, our kids watching us go to jail or watching us sacrifice everything that we've got to a bunch of false gods? Come to think about it, didn't Christians used to be regularly hauled off to jail for their dedication to Christ and to the faith?

I hear my wife's point a lot actually. "Look we have no choice. There's so little discretionary time, energy and resources. Work, school, bills... What can the Church reasonably expect anyway?"

And there is evidence for this... We figure that we have no choice but to work our fingers to the bone, pay the government 25-50%, ensure that our kids are getting all A's and covering those service hours... We sleep in on Sunday because we figure we deserve a break from our very demanding and stressful lives which, indeed, seem to us as very much out of our control.

So then I say, you know, I think you're right. Maybe we're like the Israelites, living in some kind of modern day Egypt. And the truth is that despite all the apparent perks and opportunities, this is , in fact, a slave society and the very people that I am frustrated with are really just slaves, cogs in the wheel of something well beyond their control. Maybe I'm wrong about my expectations of responsibility and what we really need is a savior--Jesus, or at least Moses, to come and deliver us from this mess. As a pastor, maybe I need to be more understanding and more compassionate. After all, the parents of my confirmands are probably just slaves.

So then I try this on. I suggest to people in Bible Studies and elsewhere that what we now have is essentially a slave society. I point out that despite all the rhetoric about freedom and opportunity, the evidence suggests something very different. I note that the capitalist dream that once seemed to promise so much has apparently created a society in which there are now classes of people--masters and slaves.

But then, just as I say something like this... Just as I accept that my people have no other choice but to sleep in on Sunday and offer the Lord whatever crumbs left after a week in the bricks and mortar... They become even more angry, insisting that I am wrong. They shout at me for saying such a blasphemous thing, dutifully citing the merits of the age--the access, the products, the services, the opportunities and freedom... They insist that all is well and that people who are not happy in this perfect world, can only blame themselves. They tell me that this is the best of the best of the best. They explain that they have more power and personal choice then any people who have ever lived. "We are responsible for our own lives.", they exclaim. "We are making our own way, writing our own story and making a name for ourselves. How dare you suggest that we are enslaved! We are not anything like slaves!"

OK, my bad... So then, what is it? What's going on? And which is better? Is it be better to be free and responsible yet selfish and deceived? Or is it better to just be blissfully bound?